Unless otherwise noted, all contents of the Ughy Club were created by and belong to Jules and Stellaciel Blue since 2008. Yeah.
questioned by Stellaciel, introduced and represented by Jules|
Because Lacy is so much more amusing than Jules (as much as HRH Jules hates to admit it), we’ve decided to use quotes from the story that made him (*cough*) famous. Or should we say…infamous. "Okay, I’m bored. Ooh, my stapler! How could I have forgotten? It’s purple. (Makes dorky face). Even its staples are purple. Purple. How cool is that? I had to buy it. What shall I name it? Oh, I know: Phineas. Phineas the purple stapler." (From Episode Six: Revenge of the Spa of Love Ya, Unc) "I’m fairly terrifying. I have Phineas on my side, and Phineas has connections with the office supply mafia—if you know what I mean. [ . . . ] "Phineas’s debut is quite lovely. He is wearing a frilly, green gown (to match his eyes) and even allowed me to part his hair on the side. His eyes are slightly less crossed, and more… well… staring-in-opposite-directions. It is very becoming. Scott is in attendance, and if he’s noticed me being more in-my-own-little-office-supply-people-world, he hasn’t mentioned it. I’m doing my best to give him the cold shoulder (in my own little spastic way), but so far I’ve just ended up making him laugh nonstop for about ten minutes when I got his old afro from last Halloween stuck on my foot and accidentally crushed my tape dispenser, Wiggins. "Wiggins is now in intensive care, not to mention post-traumatic stress therapy." (From Chapter Seven: The Realm of Silence) | |
| the Profile: | |
|---|---|
| Age: | 13 weeks |
| Height: | How tall is a mini-stapler? Like two inches? |
| Nationality: | Purple! |
| Birthplace: | Office Depot factory, quite probably in an Indonesian country. |
| Favorite munchies: | He has no mouth. :( You shouldn't tease him so! |
| Favorite magazine: | Staples catalog - he's a naughty stapler; I saw him staring at those pencil sharpeners... |
| Optimum number of staples: | None! He does not like the degrading servitudiness of stapling! |
| Best day to watch oysters: | Every day! Phineas loves his hobby of oyster-watching! |
| Preferred hair color: | And cover up his beautiful, shiny, purple scalp? BLASPHEMY! |
| Aerobic exercise is: | Head bobbing. |
| Peanut butter v. jelly: | YOU ARE SO CRUEL. |
| If he fell in the bath: | He would not fizz. |
| If he had 30 jelly beans: | He'd have 30 jelly bean. JEFUS, Stell, he's a frickin' STAPLER! He just so happens to look awesome in a tux. |
| If he lost his phone number: | Oh, whatever would he do! NOTHING. HE. IS. A. STAPLER. You're so odd. |
| If he drank two gallons of Dr. Pepper: | Okay, that's it. All of these food references. YOU MUST HAVE FOUND HIS MOUTH. WHERE IS IT?! SHOW ME! |
